Ahoy Thar Mateys!

Whenever Pirate-speak can be invoked into daily life, it's gotta be a good day. So we present you the video below from a horse race. Wonder what this guy would think?

Ana Ivanovic Loses In Montreal

Top-ranked Ana Ivanovic, nursing a sore right thumb, bowed out of the Rogers Cup in Montreal on Thursday night, losing to Tamira Paszek, a 17-year-old from Austria ranked 94th in the world, 6-2, 1-6, 6-2. The two exchanged a kiss afterward, as is common practice among European athletes though if I, as an American, played Ana I'd make sure to "respect" the tradition. Ana's defeat gives countrywoman Jelena Jankovic another chance to take the No. 1 ranking away if Jankovic can reach the tournament final.

Judge Judy And The Earthquake

Here's some footage of Tuesday's 5.4 earthquake as it struck the set of "Judge Judy" during a taping. Watch as Mrs. Sheindlin says a figurative "screw this" and gets the hell off the bench, leaving the plaintiff, defendant and the courtroom audience to fend for themselves. All of sudden that $250 the dude owes you for an unpaid electric bill doesn't seem so important, does it? I was at the gym at the time of the quake and thought I was really riding the hell out of the bike I was on before I noticed the TVs above me swaying.

Tennis AND Golf Hotties

OK, here's a few more tennis photos to get you going from the Rogers Cup in Montreal. We've had our eye on Dominika Cibulkova (below) of Slovakia and are finally posting. She's not a drop-dead beauty but we like her shape. A little thick, but that's the way we like them around here after all.

This is Stephanie Dubois of Canada. She lost on Wednesday, but we think she has potential. This isn't the greatest photo as far as facially, but remember these contorted looks are going to happen when you're dealing with an athlete competing in an event. These aren't glamour shots after all. But we can look past the strange look to see what's underneath.

And for you golf fans, here's a photo of Natalie Gulbis stretching during the Women's British Open. As always, these photos are best viewed by clicking on them for the larger image.

Manny Ramirez Coming To L.A.

I'm like a lot of Southern Californians in that before Wednesday, Manny Ramirez was someone I hated. Hated him because he was so good and hated him because he acted too cool every time he did anything. Where do you think "Manny being Manny" came from? But when news broke this afternoon that the Dodgers had acquired Manny, all that hatred melted away not surprisingly. Without having to give up Matt Kemp, James Loney or Andre Ethier, the Dodgers added arguably one of the most potent bats in baseball history to a lineup sorely in need of some electricity. The Dodgers have the pitching to compete, especially now that Chad Billingsley seems to be turning into the ace everyone thought he would be. Adding Manny to the lineup immediately makes everyone better. It means Jeff Kent can bat behind him as he did in San Francisco with Barry Bonds. It means guys like the young ones we just mentioned get to see better pitches, which means more offense, which means more confidence and all of sudden things start to build upon themselves. Sure, I could do without the Manny drama and the fact that he can be selfish and doesn't always run out ground balls and is a liability on defense, but despite all that, he infuses this town with renewed hope. Like it or not, L.A. is a town that reacts to stars and with Manny around it will be more of an event to go to a Dodger game and that energy is an intangible that you can't put a value on. And with all that enthusiasm will come success. The Dodgers, who aren't paying ANY of Manny's remaining $7 million salary this season, basically gave up Andy LaRoche for him. But now that Casey Blake is here, he figures to be the third baseman for at least the next two seasons at which point Blake DeWitt hopefully will have figured out by then how to play a full major league season and he can take over for years to come. Even if Manny doesn't re-sign here, it still was a trade the Dodgers had to make and hopefully one that sends them deep into the playoffs. And you didn't think the Dodgers were going to stand idly by while the Angels make a mockery of the AL West and then also add Mark Teixeira to their lineup, did you? On Wednesday, L.A. became a Dodger town again. Well, at least until Lakers training camp starts.

Maria Sharapova Gets Treatment

Maria Sharapova, known as much for her on-court grunting and her statuesque figure as for her tennis, takes a moment to be worked on by a trainer during the Rogers Cup in Montreal. Seems Maria had a shoulder issue. Quick, iso on Maria's expression. Hmmm.

In this photo, the trainer really seems to be taking her work seriously. Again, file this one under the Nice Work If You Can Get It Dept.

Turns out, that the shoulder injury forced Maria out of the tournament and now her participation in the Beijing Olympics is also in doubt.

Their Jumping Off Point Sucks

You've all no doubt seen the celebratory ritual conducted by professional athletes in many sports. Actually it has been going on a for a while now. It's this idea of jumping into the air and knocking bodies with a teammate, usually to celebrate a victory, but sometimes, like in the case of the NBA, to acknowledge one another during player introductions. It actually started as a chest bump without leaving one's feet, which led to the aerial chest bump and it gradually morphed into this current version, where the idea is simply to get airborne and whatever part of the body hits, hits. It's actually one of the most ridiculous things out there if you ask me. The ritual smacks of a kind of too-cool-for-school arrogance, though it seems every team has its share of players who practice it and put it on display at a moment's notice. But here's my wish: that one of these days, one of these idiots lands awkwardly on an ankle or a leg and suffers a severe sprain or perhaps blows out a knee and has to sit out the season. Mark my words, it's gonna happen. May not be for a long time, but it's gonna happen. Just remember where you read this first. Sorry about the rant but this has bothered me for quite a while. I always remember Bill Gramatica, an NFL kicker, who leaped into the air to celebrate a field goal and when he landed tore his ACL and missed the rest of the season. By the way, the field goal came in the first quarter and gave his team, the Arizona Cardinals, a 3-0 lead. Outstanding. That's a picture of Bill below clutching his knee after his fateful leap.


Here's some more shots of these douchebags and their rituals:


Not sure what part of the body is touching here:


See, it's not limited to baseball, football and basketball:


And then there's this, which I can't even put into words:

Tennis Hottie O' The Day

This is Nicole Vaidisova of the Czech Republic serving during a match at the Rogers Cup on Tuesday. Nicole was one of the players brought by Justin Gimelstob when he went on his rant about Anna Kounikova a few weeks back. I believe he called Vaidisova a "sexpot" if I'm not mistaken. As far this photo above is concerned, it is best appreciated if you click on it.

Desperate Nicollette Sheridan

Another day, another ceremonial first pitch thrown out at a major league baseball game. This time it was 40-something yet still kinda hot actress Nicollette Sheridan at Monday night's Dodger-Giant game. But as you can see, Nicollette has a fetish for Joe Torre and certainly wasn't afraid to let it show. Joe Torre? Desperate indeed.

Pursed lips to zero in on the catcher:

High leg kick shows nice form:

Face to face with Joe:

Fashionable Ana Ivanovic

This shot of Ana Ivanovic is from tonight's WTA fashion show, which took place in Montreal where the women's Rogers Cup tournament begins on Monday. Ivanovic enters the tournament as the world's No. 1 player.

Paula Creamer Lines It Up

We're all for innovation here at EM, so we thought we'd bring you this golf picture of Paula Creamer from an angle that we usually don't see. This is from Sunday's Evian Masters in France.

Jankovic Loses, Ana's No. 1 Safe

Thanks to commie, er, I mean Russian Dinara Safina (who says the Cold War's over?), Ana Ivanovic, who did not return to Carson this week to defend her title in the East West Bank Classic and instead spent the time sun bathing, retained her No. 1 ranking for simply sitting on her ass. That's because Safina (with a look of relief above, as if expressing emotions for all Ana fans) defeated Jelena Jankovic, Ana's sometimes surly (read: jealous) Serbian countrywoman, in the tournament's semifinals Saturday night. Had Jankovic (seen below in a classic pissed-off pose, but why the long face Jelena?) won the tournament, she would have unseeded Ana at the top of women's tennis. Ana will be back in action next week at the Rogers Cup in Montreal, so her ranking should be secure heading into the U.S. Open in August.

French Love Natalie Gulbis

The best female golfers in the world are playing the Evian Masters in France this weekend and on Saturday it was clear the cameras there really loved American Natalie Gulbis, the defending champion. Easy to see why she attacts attention, but on this weekend it's certainly not because of her golf as Gulbis is 10 shots off the lead in 20th place heading into Sunday's final round. Still, here's some more shots from Saturday.

Pondering what to do next:

She keeps her eye on the ball, can you?

Stretching before a hole:

Getting ready to hit:

Bearing down on a drive:

Following through nicely:

On the putting green:

Wee Sing Memories

When my oldest was a little girl she used to watch this video over and over and over where I even I knew it by heart. Now, my little girl is about to begin her third year in college, has spent the summer studying in New York and has become a beautiful young woman who makes me proud every time I see her. Today, she called me from the Big Apple because for some reason she thought of this video but couldn't remember the name or a lot of the details. I told her I'd look for it and post it. So there it is. This video is one of seven parts. Part two can be found here, part three here, part four here, part five here, part six here and part seven here. Have fun.
And then there's this one below with Mr. World. Oh goodness.

Family Guy And Willy Wonka

Fans of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory are sure to enjoy the clip below from "Family Guy." It's a takeoff/spoof of the scene when Wonka opens the door to the Chocolate Room. In this case, it's the Beer Room at the Pawtucket Brewery in Quohog. Great, great stuff. Had been looking for this for a while and glad I finally found it.

My favorite line: "You'll drive drunker than ... Oksana Baiul." In case you have no idea who Oksana Baiul is, click here. This line in the song is a reference to the last paragraph under the "Career" section of her wikipedia page. So irreverent, but that's what makes it great in my book. From the same episode, there's also the clip below, which remakes the scene when Charlie and Grandpa Joe are about to get sucked into the fan after they imbibe on Fizzy Lifting Drinks. In the movie, Charlie and Grandpa Joe save themselves by burping. In Family Guy, Peter and Brian do something different.

Nice Work If You Can Get It

I know it seems to be pretty tennis heavy around here lately, but honestly I don't plan it that way. It's all a matter of whether something grabs my attention or not. Just thought I'd post this photo of player Victoria Azarenka or Belarus (don't worry, I hadn't heard of her either before today) being tended to by a trainer during her quarterfinal match against Dinara Safina in the East West Bank Classic at the Home Depot Center. Huge crowds out there in Carson as you can see.

Kournikova-Gimelstob Revisited

Anna Kournikova is taking the high road in her dispute with fellow tennis player Justin Gimelstob. Anna, who plays for the St. Louis Aces in World Team Tennis, was in Washington to face the Washington Kastles of which Gimelstob is a team member. Though the two did not play each other in mixed doubles, Kournikova made a concerted effort to avoid the empty-headed Gimelstob, who made derogatory remarks about Kournikova, other female players, and the women's tour, in general, during Wimbledon last month. He later apologized. As far as Wednesday's encounter, or lack thereof as it turns out, Anna was succinct. "I actually forgot about it until you just mentioned it," Kournikova said. "It's really no big deal to me."

Despite his opinions of Kournikova, Gimelstob, with the goofy half-smile sitting there on the right, can't seem to take his eyes off her:

It's fairly easy to tell that Anna wasn't interested in any diplomacy with Gimelstob:

Ana Ivanovic's Whereabouts

I have to say I was a little sad when I realized that Ana Ivanovic would not be in the Los Angeles area this week to defend her title at the East West Bank Classic at the Home Depot Center. Well, after seeing pictures of her "holiday" in Mallorca, Spain (an example of which can be seen above), I guess I can live with her decision. If you want to see more, go to Scoop Celebrity's website, which you can access at this link. There's another link with photos at Hollywood Rag's website.

Sparks-Shock WNBA Brawl

Here is the footage from the brawl during the Sparks-Shock game on Tuesday night in Detroit. I believe this is a first for the WNBA -- as far as the brawl as well as the amount of coverage it generated. Is there any justifiable reason possible why Shock assistant coach Rick Mahorn would push Lisa Leslie to the floor? Amazing.

Now These Are Dunks

Saw the photo above of Comet Girl, who apparently does this sort of thing at Houston Comets games to entertain the crowd. Usually you see dudes doing this kind of stuff, not to be sexist, of course, so it was refreshing to see a female soaring through the air and dunking a basketball and not having to be told that what Candace Parker does actually can be considered a dunk. What I didn't realize about Comet Girl is that this sort of thing has become somewhat of an epidemic lately. Sportfiends had a post about another female dunk fest that occurred during Milwaukee's Summerfest with the Bucks' cheerleaders getting involved. But if you want to see an even better photo of this event, check out Uncoached and its post on the happening.

Allison Stokke Photos -- Again

SportsByBrooks has done it again, uncovering some new photos of our favorite pole vaulter Allison Stokke, which the site describes "as you've never seen her before." The link to the post and the photos can be found here. Some good stuff though it is from her days at Newport Harbor High School. She's now vaulting for Cal.

Danica Patrick-Milka Duno Catfight

Nothing like a good old-fashioned catfight, right fellas? Well, we almost had a doozy on Saturday when IRL driver Danica Patrick sauntered over to the pit area of fellow driver Milka Duno to ask her some questions about Milka's driving techniques. Milka, who most of us hadn't heard of until today, reacted seemingly with little class, mumbling things about Danica making a show about everything, blah, blah, blah, and even throwing a towel in Danica's face, not once but twice. Probably a good bet that with her pit crew surrounding her, Milka was the one making the show and perhaps not accidentally since now the blogosphere and mainstream media has caught wind of her and is uttering her name over and over. Nice job Milka. You do have a hot name, I'll say that. Mmmm Milka.

Since it's kinda hard to tell from the video, here are some photos of Milka that will give you a better understanding of what we're dealing with here. Oh, did I mention she is a former model?

Wonder what the devil on her shirt means:


Milka arriving at some sort of event. Does it really matter?:


Girls in baseball caps. Gotta love it:


Milka wearing a nice heart necklace. What necklace you say?:

That's Milka on the left and Danica on the right during happier times. The only other person I recognize in this photo is tennis legend Billie Jean King standing next to Danica:


And we already know what Danica looks like when she's all dolled up:

Laker Girl Open Tryouts

Saturday was one of those days some little girls dream about: a chance to fulfill a childhood aspiration of one day becoming a Laker girl. In Southern California, there's nothing bigger is there? The team held open tryouts Saturday so that some lucky souls might get a chance to don the skimpy purple and gold and prance around Staples Center at least 41 times during the season to the delight of men and teen boys everywhere. God bless KNX radio, which offeres up this impressive photo gallery from Saturday's proceedings. A sample can be found below. The Lakers page on NBA.com also had a video hyping Saturday's event. Don't forget the flesh-colored tights.

Great Catch By Little Leaguer

Here's a great catch by a Little Leaguer in Albany, N.Y., I believe. His team lost though. Losers!

Patty Schnyder Goes All Out

This is a shot of tennis player Patty Schnyder, who lost to Serena Williams on Friday in the quarterfinals at the Bank of the West Classic at Stanford. I can't make my mind up about Schnyder though. She's certainly not a drop-dead beauty, but when I see certain pictures of her she looks kinda cute to me. Put it this way, she seems to be the type that would clean up nice. Also, another factor in her favor, aside from being from Switzerland so we know she's neutral, is that Schnyder isn't a top-flight talent. Sure, she's good enough to be on the tour and she wins her share of matches, but because she's not a Sharapova or a Williams sister, there's probably none of that high maintenence B.S. to deal with so that scores some points. As you see Schnyder can look really good on the court.


And she can look pretty good off the court too.




Please offer me your thoughts on Patty. But since this is a tennis post, it's always a chance to showcase a new photo of Ana Ivanovic. I mean, it's not a "new" photo as in recent, but a good one nonetheless.