Where Are They Now ... Hersey Hawkins

At Erratic Magic, one of our basic philosophies is:

Ask and you shall receive.

Of course this is all fine and good in theory, but it really depends on whether we can deliver or not. I received a recent e-mail from a confidant and loyal reader, who wondered "where is Hersey Hawkins now? his name just popped into my head..." Well, loyal reader, I hope what I present can ease you mind a bit and perhaps satisfy your curiosity.

In my digging I have found out that Hersey Hawkins, one of the greatest scorers in college basketball history, is now a high school coach in Goodyear, Arizona. I'm not sure how long he's been there. Coincidentally, Goodyear is the city where the Dodgers are destined to move their spring training base in a few seasons (this isn't the only way Hersey and the Dodgers are connected either... read on) and near the city of Buckeye, where Mike Tyson was recently arrested for cocaine possession. Anyway, getting back to Hersey, he is coaching at Estrella Foothills High School with Tyrone Amundsen, who played at Fresno Pacific in the mid-1990s and holds the school record for most consecutive free throws in a game (13 for 13). Two of Hersey's sons are on the varsity roster (click on "Athletic Team Links" then on "Boys Basketball" then on "Roster") at Estrella Foothills. Brandon Hawkins, not to be confused with the former Crenshaw High star by the same name, is a 6-foot-1 junior guard and apparently one of the top players in the state of Arizona who had a good sophomore season and isn't doing too badly this season either. The other one is freshman Corey Hawkins, a 6-0 guard. Not sure how good he is but the youngest more often than not turns out to be the most talented don't they? Hersey was a 6-3 shooting guard who averaged a Division I-high 36.1 points a game in the 1987-88 season for Bradley University. He was drafted originally by the Clippers but was immediately traded to the Philadelphia 76ers for the draft rights to Charles Smith of Pittsburgh. Hawkins played 13 seasons in the NBA and was named to the NBA All-Rookie First Team and later was an All-Star in 1991 when he averaged a career-best 22.1 points. Here are Hersey's NBA statistics. This link also is a good summary of Hersey. I would be remiss if I didn't mention the one story I think of when Hersey Hawkins' name is brought up. I believe this was when Hersey was still in college and was up for the Wooden Award, honoring the nation's top player. Well, all the top guys were flown to Los Angeles for the Wooden Award banquet where Tommy Hawkins, a former NBA player who now worked for the Dodgers, was the emcee of the event. It was Tommy's job to introduce the highlight reels and say a little bit about each player before the final award was to be revealed. So of course, when Hersey's turn came, Tommy was quite ready for the moment considering they shared the same surname. The late Jim Healy, renowned in L.A. for his soundbyte radio show, had this classic audio clip of Tommy Hawkins from that day and it went something like this: "Hershey Hawkins, how can I not be partial to a man with the same last name ... and we want you to see Hershey in action." What's so funny you ask? Well, Tommy botched Hersey's first name, instead pronouncing it as you would when referring to the famous candy bar. Healy was relentless in poking fun at Hawkins so whenever there was someone in the news who messed up a pronunciation or name, you could be sure Healy was there to play the Tommy Hawkins clip. It always made me laugh. Anyway, here is the only video I could find on Hersey Hawkins. The commentators are speaking Portuguese, I believe, and I like the way they pronounce his name.

Not The Chelsea I Remember

To put it mildly, Chelsea Clinton wasn't exactly nice to look at during her days as First Daughter in the 1990s and things didn't get much better while she was a student at Stanford. But the photo below, a Christmas postcard from Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (obtained from a high-placed unidentified East Coast source... OK so I've identified him now with the previous link) seems to show that little Chelsea has grown up to become a very nice looking woman.

Maybe she's been looking good for a while now and I just wasn't aware. She hasn't exactly been on my radar for quite some time. I'm not sure what her dating status is these days, but it sure must be a pain in the ass to have a relationship with her, not because of her personality or anything like that, but because of all those secret-service types always poking around and getting in your business all the time. Maybe I'm mistaken and they only guard the former President now that he's out of office and leave Chelsea to do as she pleases. But hey, power turns some people on, so what can you do? But I must say after seeing this latest photo of Miss Chelsea, I feel a tad smitten, although she still has traces of that ridiculous curly hairstyle that was so distressing through the decade before the millennium. But to go from this and get closer to this is definitely a welcome change.

Damon Does McConaughey

There's nothing really deep about this, but I thought this impersonation that Matt Damon does of Matthew McConaughey was pretty good. He did it on a recent Letterman show. Stay with it until the end as the last line is the best.

What's funny is that McConaughey was on the "Early Show" a couple of days later, promoting his latest film "We Are Marshall" and they got his reaction to Damon's impersonation. The reaction doesn't come until the latter part of the interview (about the 4:00 mark in case you want to skip to that part) but listening to McConaughey during the interview and comparing it to Damon is pretty funny.

Hottest Female Athletes

SI.com recently posted a photo gallery of "Best-Looking Athletes" although all 20 photos were of women. I didn't find the photo gallery with men and frankly I'm not sure if one exists nor did I do much digging. Moving on. As with any list such as this, there is disagreement and controversy and always someone who was completely overlooked. The SI list is heavy on fringe sports (there are two surfers, two snowboarders and one freestyle skier, although come to think of it, an argument can be made that every women's sport is a fringe sport, but I digress). There also are four tennis players, three track and field athletes, two figure skaters, two basketball players, two golfers, a swimmer and a volleyball player. The list puzzles me a bit because there doesn't seen to be any real rhyme or reason, or a set of standards by which it was compiled. It includes retired or no longer competitively active athletes (Anna Kournikova, Gabrielle Reece and Sasha Cohen), one who is still in high school (Michelle Wie) and many who I've never heard of (Carrie Tollefson, Anna Rawson, Malia Jones, but the latter is quite the hottie). You have to check out No. 12 on the list, tennis player Daniela Hantuchova. I've seen her before and she's pretty hot, but this picture is a little freaky. I'm thinking she has a Sissy Spacek in the movie "Carrie" thing going on here. Looks to me as if those eyes are about to turn the All-England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club into a fiery inferno if you piss her off. Perhaps these lists are made just so people will talk and if this post is any indication, SI has succeeded. But there are a few athletes who weren't included that I felt should have been. The most glaring omissions in my view are as follows:
soccer player Heather Mitts,

basketball player Sue Bird,

softball player Jennie Finch

and golfer Natalie Gulbis.

I've posted photos of these four -- glamour and action so you can compare the two -- but I'm sure there are others out there who I'm forgetting. I'd love to hear who you think belongs on the list and who, perhaps, should have been left off the SI compilation (Lisa Leslie, please. A very handsome woman as I heard someone on radio say. Also, Marion Jones? You gotta be kidding me. Her crooked teeth and the fact that she's 'roided up, do her in, I think). At least neither of the tennis-playing Williams sisters made it. That's another fascination I've never understood. Eewww! But, now as I look back on the last few sentences, I must also wonder how the heck surfer Veronica Kay made the list (so as not to appear racist) because that photo of her certainly doesn't help her cause. Butterface contest anyone? Please give me your thoughts on anything and everything.

Too Much Christmas Cheer

OK, OK, I know many of you have been panicking out there, wondering what the hell happened to this blog that used to have a post every darn day. I know it's probably been hard getting yourselves to sleep at night this last week as you pondered whether "TODAY" would be the day that some fresh content appeared. I'm happy to say that your Christmas wish has come true. You can thank me later. Seriously, though I've been busy with family functions, last-minute shopping and all the normal things as I'm sure many of you have been, so that's why there hasn't been an update in a while. I won't make that a habit, I promise.
Now, onto other things.
I don't really have a theme in mind for this post other than to say I'm back so I hope this doesn't ramble too much. Does anyone like those Geico commercials with the caveman? I have to admit I didn't at first, but they have really grown on me, especially in comparison to the movie of long ago of the same name, sorry Ringo. The commercial I saw tonight with the caveman debating on a CNN-like talkshow was hilarious. You can see it below.

The caveman's comments are hilarious. And the lady at the end is pretty funny too, especially the look she gives the camera after she offends the caveman. It reminded me of some of the other great caveman-related comedy. I'm sure you all remember this Phil Hartman character on SNL. It was very simple classic stuff ("I'm just a caveman.") but somehow it always got a laugh. Also, does anyone remember Marquette men's basketball coach Tom Crean, not the Irish explorer? Crean the coach, top mug on the right, was often compared to having a caveman-like look (I don't remember if that was only an inside joke with us or if it was a well-held belief. Be the judge based on the mug shot). Also, there's Chris "Caveman" Kaman, who recently cut his hair and actually looks presentable these days. I don't know what it is about cavemen, but sometimes they're funny.

Gene, Gene The Dancing Machine

If you were a kid in the '70s, then you surely remember the Gong Show. Part of the charm was the outright wackiness that ensued under the guidance of Chuck Barris, the host. It was TV at its best and its worst all at the same time. This was reality television before the boom in the '90s (American Idol can't hold a candle to you Gong Show). This was the show that made The Unknown Comic, Jaye P. Morgan, Arte Johnson, Jamie Farr, Rip Taylor and many others (even David Letterman was a judge way back before he became a late-night talk-show host) household names. But one of my favorite parts of the show was Gene, Gene the Dancing Machine, the man who would stroll onstage when the beginning of the song "Jumpin at the Woodside" by Count Basie started to play. The song had a Pavlovian effect on Barris and the audience, who would lose all their inhibitions and go crazy at this well-proportioned African American man strutting his stuff as junk from both sides of the stage was being thrown at him. It was classic. Anyway, I was talking to a friend about this phenomenon and it inspired me to write this post. Gene Gene, real name Eugene Patton, still lives in Altadena, but the sad part of his story is that he has been in a wheelchair the last three years. Ironically, the man who helped make his living with his legs, lost both of them to diabetes. Recently, he even had his wheelchair stolen although The Game Show Network, which airs the Gong Show and other classics, bought Gene Gene a new one to get him rolling again, so we're happy for that. Let me just close by quoting Chuck Barris and saying, this blog soon will be back ... with more stuff!!!

The Other Big Red Head

The photo and text above are from a recent special issue of Sports Illustrated dedicated solely to their "Faces In The Crowd" feature. If you are unfamiliar with the feature, it's a weekly installment of five or six short snippets about exceptional athletes or feats. Usually, it deals with younger athletes or those in sports that don't get much media attention. Anyway, in this recent issue, the magazine reprinted many of its past "Faces" and it was neat to see how many of them went on to become very famous people. This one on Bill Walton caught my eye in particular because of what the text says. Read it closely. Yes, he was the MVP of the Covina Tournament (yes, that Covina Tournament) and is forever linked with the other big red head we all know and love -- one Patrick Chylinski, who also was MVP of said tournament. We are coming up on the 20th anniversary when Chylinski led an underdog (and under-respected, for that matter) Bishop Amat team to a magical post-Christmas four-day run that culminated in the unlikeliest of titles and arguably was the highlight for most of the seniors that season. Bishop Amat beat Diamond Bar in the championship game in overtime, 80-74 I believe. But that doesn't even begin to describe the drama as Bishop Amat trailed by a whopping 14 points with just over two minutes to play in regulation. Through pressure defense, mental mistakes and turnovers by Diamond Bar, as well as a timely on-court altercation that led to technical fouls and a change in momentum, Bishop Amat rallied to tie the score and send the game to overtime where the Lancers put it away to beat the Brahmas, who were led by Cal-bound Brian Hendrick, nephew of former major leaguer George. It's still one of the most amazing games I've ever witnessed. And that doesn't even mention that simply to make it to the finals, the Lancers needed victories over Blair and a Muir team led by Kansas-bound Kirk Wagner and a host of other talented players. But this four-day run belonged to Chylinski, who has gone on to big things of his own and will forever be connected with Walton -- something they can never take away. Here's an interesting article about Chase Budinger and Walton with a mention of the Covina Tournament.

Breaking News: Red Sox Souring on Drew?

The Boston Red Sox seem to be having some issues with the physical exam results of former Dodger J.D. Drew. I thank my mole in Miami for making me aware of this. Perhaps there will be more to talk about tomorrow. The ESPN.com article can be found here. Below, in happier times, J.D. Drew's wife, Sheigh, is greeted by Tom Lasorda when her husband signed his overpriced deal with the Dodgers. Remember, it was J.D. who said the only reason he put the opt-out clause in his contract was to make sure Sheigh would be happy in Southern California. And from all reports, Sheigh had become chummy with many of the wives in her Pasadena neighborhood, showing no signs of unhappiness in her new environment. Apparently, family concerns don't even trump the chase for the almighty dollar. If there is a God, as my Miami mole put it, the Red Sox will cut their ties with poor old J.D. and the sourpuss will go from a $70-million dollar man to a free agent with health issues. Bad combination.

NBA's Latest Black Eye

The latest embarrassment to hit NBA arenas happened Saturday night at Madison Square Garden. In case you didn't hear, I'll spare you the details for now. You can watch the video below. But I lost a lot of respect for Carmelo Anthony though. For a guy who's supposed to be the face of the new NBA, along with Dwyane Wade and LeBron James, it was a moment he won't soon live down -- maybe ever. It's not enough that these incidents blow up into situations that don't even need to happen in the first place (Remember the Palace). It becomes a chest-thumping, name-calling exercise in ridiculousness (is that a word?) with the worst sides of human behavior powering to the forefront. The NBA culture has changed from the days of Magic, Bird and Jordan. It's no longer enough to just be a great player. There's an image to uphold, and most of it boils down to the macho b.s. that seems to find its way into many crevices in our society. And what's funny is that, in this situation, these so-called tough guys, fighting for their street cred, turn out to be nothing but little b----es. Did you see the Knicks Nate Robinson? I actually blame him for the whole thing escalating. It was a bad foul by his own teammate, Mardy Collins, so why wouldn't Robinson think that the Denver player who was fouled, J.R. Smith, might be a little upset about it. But instead of letting it go and being a peacemaker at that point, Robinson waits until Smith is being held back and then gets in his face to talk his smack like the tough guy he is. Robinson then exacerbates things by stepping back and taking a slap swipe (calling it a punch would be an insult to punches) at Smith, which infuriates the Denver player and all hell breaks loose just when it seemed the situation would be diffused. Then, after things have calmed down from that insanity, it's Anthony who steps in and sucker punches -- actually sucker slaps since these NBA guys actually don't know how to fight with their fists -- Collins to fan the flames again. But of course, Anthony, the man that he is, doesn't stand in there to take whatever comes from his decision to do this. Instead, he runs away like a baby and hides behind his teammates who are "holding him back." And as I'm watching this, it all feels very familiar and very disheartening. I remember why the NBA, and pro sports in general, hardly holds my interest anymore on a grand scale. I no longer feel inspired. And whatever happened to the good-ol' days of Kevin McHale clotheslining Kurt Rambis? Ah the past. But it wasn't so long ago that this happened to one of our very own Lakers.

Knicks and Nuggets Brawl

This is raw video from the Knicks-Nuggets brawl from MSG. Most of the videos are being removed from YouTube because the NBA is enforcing its copyrights so hopefully this one will last a bit. The post on incident is above on the page if you are interested.

End of UCLA-Gonzaga Sweet 16

Sorry for posting this again, but I messed up the original post when I tried to edit something so I wanted to put this back up so I have it on the blog. Thanks for bearing with me.

Bigfoot Opera

This post goes out to Mike. And I think John will also appreciate it as it is right up his alley. Perhaps we can sing this song karaoke some day. Anyway, this video is from the Spike Feresten Show. Who's Spike Feresten you ask? He's a comedy writer best known for his work on "Seinfeld." Among his most well-known contributions was episode entitled "The Soup Nazi." The video above closed his show Saturday night and he calls it, "Comedy for Stoners." Try to imagine yourself high while watching this and you get the point.

UCLA 13, USC 9

I was talking with friends recently and was asked how I felt when UCLA beat USC in football. I must admit that I got misty-eyed and I'm not ashamed in the least to say that. It made me reflect and realize that I would like to immortalize this moment, so here is the video of the last minute of the game. Enjoy Bruins fans. Maybe the bandwagon will get a little lighter for the Trojans now although in this front-running town, I doubt it.

A Scab That Won't Heal

In a move that doesn't figure to cause much more than a small ripple in hot-stove league discussions, the Angels traded 35-year-old reliever Brendan Donnelly to the Boston Red Sox on Friday for 27-year-old rookie left-hander Phil Seibel. Very nondescript, very insignificant, very blase to most fans. Donnelly was expendable now that the Angels had signed reliever Justin Speier recently to a four-year, $18-million contract. But when I think of Donnelly, I can't help but remember the hell this guy has been through since he made the fateful decision in 1995 to cross the Major League Baseball Players' Assn. picket line to become a replacement player that spring. Now normally, I'm not one to sympathize with a professional athlete in any of the big sports, but I've always felt different about Donnelly. Crossing that picket line is a decision he and a handful of others have had to live with their entire careers. Never mind that Donnelly was a critical cog in the Angels' drive to the 2002 World Series that brought so much joy to fans in Southern California after the team had been losers for so many seasons and had been so close a handful of other times (I was at Game 5 in 1986 when the Angels were one out away from a World Series appearance before Donnie Moore served up that fateful pitch to Dave Henderson, and the rest is history... thanks Gene Mauch ... I bet it took about five years off Gene Autry's life ... hmm that would be a good post someday, but I digress). Getting back to Donnelly, even though he crossed in 1995, he didn't make his major league debut until that 2002 season with the Angels. As a 31-year-old rookie, Donnelly immediately became a fan favorite because of his look (he wore goggles) and his intensity. But most people forget that because he was a replacement player in spring training 1995 -- when he made a decision he thought was best for the survival of his family -- he became an outcast in the eyes of the players' union forever. To this day, he and other players, such as Kevin Millar, Damian Miller, Matt Herges, Kerry Ligtenberg, Tom Martin , Lou Merloni and the late Cory Lidle were never allowed entry into the baseball players' union and have been constant targets for scorn from fellow players throughout their careers, usually in very subtle ways that don't make headlines. Donnelly's name and likeness (and Millar's and Miller's for that matter when their teams won World Series) were never allowed to appear on any commemorative merchandise nor could he benefit financially from the sale of any such items. This also includes any other merchandising that the union must authorize, such as video games. You won't find Donnelly's name on any roster for a PlayStation2 baseball game, for example. Although Donnelly and others have had their supporters in the players' ranks to be granted union membership, the hard-liners have held strong to keep them out. Donnelly, to his credit, has never uttered a word of negativity through the ordeal -- at least not publicly. The Red Sox will be his second major league team. But he began his major league pursuit in the early '90s and has pitched for 17 teams, including two independents, and has been with eight different organizations. Guys like him don't deserve to be blackballed in a sport where a .250 hitter or a pitcher with an ERA over 5.00 can sign a $10 million contract. It's just not right.

Chase Budinger Is Fun To Watch

If you've followed college basketball in the early going this season, you've probably heard of Chase Budinger, the budding superstar at Arizona who is making a run at national freshman of the year honors. Now, as a staunch UCLA fan, it pains me in a variety of ways to pimp for a guy like Budinger. First off, he plays for Arizona, a school that aside from USC, I hold in about as high regard as a dirty politician. So many things to hate: Lute (or is it Loot?), obnoxious fans, their crappy "Wildcat" sound effect whenever something good happens ... the list goes on and on. But I can't help but appreciate Budinger and his style, which belies his youth. A 40-inch vertical doesn't hurt either. The kid looks like a man out there, oozing confidence and exuding the potential to make a great play every time down the court, which makes it so fun to watch him (what will he do next?) and also makes me weep a bit knowing how close he was to becoming a Bruin. And did we mention that he was the national high school volleyball player of the year in 2005-06? Yup, the kid hasn't even devoted his complete attention to basketball until now. Basically, he went to Arizona because that was the first school to recognize and want him for his basketball talents first, according to Budinger. He also considered attending UCLA and USC because he could've played both sports there, but he felt a loyalty to the Wildcats for being No. 1 at his doorstep. Arizona does not have a men's volleyball team by the way. So Budinger has put his volleyball career on hold -- he surely is destined to be an Olympian in the sport should he chose that path -- and the fun part now will be to see how far and high he can soar in basketball. It's actually a big year for freshman, in general, but especially in the Pac-10. Oregon has Tajuan Porter, a 5-6 point guard who already has made 10 three-pointers in a game this season and leads the conference in scoring at 20.6 points a game. Washington has Spencer Hawes, nephew of former NBA player Steve Hawes. California has Ryan Anderson, a 6-10 freshman who leads the team in scoring at 16.5 points a game. USC has Taj Gibson, who leads the Pac-10 in rebounding at 10.6 a game. Stanford has the 7-foot Lopez twins, Robin and Brook, while not the quite the Collins twins from a few years back still make for an imposing presence. Arizona State has Josh Shipp's little brother, Jerren, averaging double figures. So you see that Budinger certainly has plenty of company. It's ironic that the conference's best team, top-ranked UCLA, not only doesn't have a freshman of real influence but also doesn't even have a senior on its roster. But getting back to Budinger ... take a few moments to watch this guy and you won't be disappointed. He's the best player to come out of the San Diego area since Bill Walton, they say.

Seinfeld Lost Episode

OK, if you haven't seen this video, it's an excellent montage regarding the whole Michael Richards incident, using clips from the "Seinfeld" show combined with clips of Richards act at the Laugh Factory and his apology on Letterman. I laugh, I cringe but it's hilarious when it's all said and done. This came out a few weeks ago so it might be old to some of you.

Seinfeld's Still Funny

OK, so Michael Richards effed-up. Can't we all just move along now. No, I'm not condoning what the guy did (and if you don't know by now, I'm sure not going to explain it here) but he's a tad off his rocker to start with, right? Anyway, this isn't the point of this post. There's a reason why Seinfeld season 7 DVDs sales have remained high despite the incident with Richards. The show is just damn funny and remains so. This nonsense from people that they now view the show differently after what happened is a load of crap and probably stems from some other incident of extreme guilt in their lives. What caught my eye recently was this spoof that someone put together as a movie trailer pretending Seinfeld was a horror flick. Check it out here, it's very well done.

Adieu, Monsieur Fraud!

I guess I should never be surprised by a decision a professional athlete makes, especially when it has to do with financial dealings. But I can't be anything but disappointed in the latest news regarding one-time Dodger closer Eric Gagne, who has agreed to a one-year $6 million contract with the Texas Rangers -- a deal that could pay him $11 million with incentives -- and will leave the city that adored him like no other. The Dodgers, by the way, offered one year, $4 million, with a possibility of $10 million with incentives. Gagne spent the last two injury-riddled seasons trying to regain the form that made him into the dynamic and electric sports personality that has rarely been seen in this town, beloved by hundreds of thousands of fans. But it's not so much that Gagne is leaving, rather the circumstances behind it. This summer, while injured, Gagne entertained the idea of returning to the Dodgers, going as far as saying he would give them a hometown discount because basically he made $20 million the last two seasons for doing nothing. Sure, that was partially payback for the three glorious years he delivered before that, but Gagne certainly felt a sense of guilt for getting all this cash without actually being a contributor. These feelings are noble in that it showed that the man actually had a conscious, or so we thought. In late August, Gagne was asked, point-blank, by the Los Angeles Times whether he would sign with the Dodgers for less money than he could get somewhere else. His answer: "Yes." Earlier in the summer Gagne said this:

"I got paid a lot of money for two years and didn't do anything. That's what I feel bad about. I feel like I let the team down. I feel like I let the fans down."

But apparently he didn't feel bad enough to actually stay true to his word. Hmm, this has fast become a familiar theme for the Dodgers this off-season. Then again, Gagne's agent is Scott Boras, the devil incarnate himself and a man that would NEVER allow a client to do something that would actually harm the players' union (taking less than market value is a big no-no as far as union types are concerned. Anyone remember when A-Rod offered to take less than the $25 million annually his contract called for? The union went ape-shit). What's disappointing is that Gagne didn't need to say any of the things he said about wanting to return. Neither did J.D. Drew for that matter, and we all know how that turned out. (Did we mention his agent is also Boras?) Although I was annoyed by Drew, it didn't surprise me too much because Drew seems to be the typical athlete as far as money ultimately ruling everything he does in his life. Gagne, on the other hand, seemed different. He was Canadian and had that hockey-players' attitude toward life, refreshing in his approach, honest in his assessments and someone that you actually believed when he spoke. I don't know how I'll feel seeing Gagne return to L.A. in a different uniform, but I can safely say "Welcome to the Jungle" won't be ringing in my head and my arms will probably remain folded after this faux pas to end all faux pas. Monsieur Gagne, you have proven yourself to be just like the rest.

Andrew Bynum: Psychic (Sort Of)

As the father of an 18 soon-to-be 19-year-old daughter, I know how easy it is to sometimes tune out the things that teenagers say, knowing all too well how much MORE I know than they do but being sure to give them the standard pat on the head from time to time. With this in mind, it's hard to take seriously a fellow like Andrew Bynum, the Lakers' baby center with potential up the ying-yang. It's not because we don't like him, but he's just so dang young that how can you worship at the altar of someone who is a contemporary of Lindsay Lohan and the Olsen twins? Sure, young Andrew is fun to watch and smile at because of his boyhood enthusiasm and who doesn't like to see a prodigy develop before their eyes? We can even forgive his lapses of laziness because we remember that when we were 19 all WE wanted to do was eat, sleep and party. But when I look back before the beginning of the Lakers' season, when Kobe Bryant was still injured, the team was a shaky 4-4 in the exhibition season, and everyone wondered how exactly did this collection get better in the off-season, there was the following quote from Andrew in the Los Angeles Times on the day he turned 19. The date was Oct. 27, four days before the season opener:

"I think when [Bryant] gets back, we'll be that much better," Bynum said. "Up until then, I think we'll start off pretty well. We've got a lot of home games to start with. We should go, like, 15-5, at the least."

It's this last part that has me shaking my head today. I actually remember reading this and laughing out loud at the time, thinking, well at least the kid's got some chutzpah for predicting such a thing. I mean, despite the Lakers home-friendly schedule to date, no one would have had the audacity to predict such a thing. But waking up this morning, after the Lakers' stunning effort against the San Antonio Spurs on Sunday night, they sit 14-6 atop the Pacific Division. OK, so Andrew was one off. Still amazing. From the mouths of babes.

'That's Just Nitpicking, Isn't It?'

SMELL THE GLOVE

(Hello Jeanine!)

I asked a good friend of mine to view this blog recently and to give me his opinion of what he saw. One of the things he wrote in his reply was this:

Why, I was just asking myself, "How much more black can that background get?" The answer was none, none more black.

It reminded me of how much I, and all of my friends, cherish this phenomenon known as Spinal Tap, and all the joy this has brought us the last 20-plus years. There's no deep thought here. Just wanted to put this out there. So if you're reading this, please pause, reflect, and give thanks for being able to Tap Into America!


Just asking dept: Now I look at the photo below and I clearly recognize Derek and Nigel on the left, and David and a svelte-looking Viv on the right. But who's that guy in the middle? At first, I thought it might be Freddie Mercury, and this picture just happened to be taken on a night when he decided to sit in with the band. Then again, it also could be Borat. Anyone with me on this?

That Crafty Schmidt

The glass half-full guy in me reads the following quotes from new Dodger Jason Schmidt in an AP story, and I gotta believe he's setting up his now former teammate for a fall of all falls come 2007:
Schmidt said he received a phone call from a San Francisco teammate.
“Barry (Bonds) just called me. He’s like, 'You’re leaving me? I can’t believe you’re leaving me.’ I told him, 'I have to.’ We had fun with it,” Schmidt said. “We got to be pretty good friends while I was in San Francisco.”
How will he pitch Bonds? “Very carefully, of course,” Schmidt said.

Very carefully my ass! The only thing Schmidt better be careful about is avoiding the shards of helmet that fly at his face after he drills FatHead with a fastball. Don't let me down Jason. This IS Dodgers-Giants after all.

A Christmas Wish

So now that Jason Schmidt is a Dodger and Barry Bonds has re-signed with the Giants, I can't help but wonder if the stars are finally aligning and 2007 will be the year that a Dodger starter has the guts to throw a high hard one at ol' FatHead. Tim Hamulack gave it the old college try last season, bless his heart, but who really remembers a no-name reliever? It's just not the same unless it's an ace throwing at an ass. Bonds has never been paid back for that ridiculous pirouette during his 73-homer season or for any of the times (read: every god damned time) that he sits and stares at his home run balls as if he's waiting for the first base coach to give him the high sign that it's OK to start running. Now I don't pretend to know what kind of relationship Schmidt and Bonds had while they were NoCal teammates, but if it's anything like the one that Bonds and Jeff Kent had, we may have something here. What a message it would send if a former Giant nemesis turned around and stuck it to a former teammate -- literally. Are you listening Santa?

This Pitcher Is The Schmidt

Jason Schmidt is a mean-looking dude. He's the type of dude that you hate to see staring back at you from a mound 60 feet 6 inches away when you know he can throw a baseball close to 100 mph and probably wouldn't be shy of letting one whiz by your head just for kicks. For this reason, I'm thrilled to hear that he will be a Dodger next season. Despite an average 11-9 record in 2006, Schmidt was one of the league leaders in ERA at 3.59 and he's still the intimidating force he's always been. He's Brad Penny but with more "it" factor. He's the classic glad-to-have-him-on-my-side player. Sure, it was tough to see Greg Maddux go to a division rival, but perhaps that's why the Dodgers didn't shed too many tears knowing they had Schmidt in their back pocket. And as much as I loved Maddux while he was here, you have to get more than 70 pitches a start from your front-liner. The rumor now is that the Dodgers are working toward a deal to send Penny, Matt Kemp and another minor leaguer or even young pitcher Chad Billingsley to the Red Sox for Manny Ramirez. Not sure how I feel about that one, but boy do the boys in blue need a big bat. At least for now, they have upgraded in another way.

Can't We Just Enjoy The Moment?

Living in L.A. and being a UCLA fan since birth, the last seven years have been tough to be a Bruin from a football perspective. Losing to your rival year after year is a hard enough to pill swallow, but when you're downright embarrassed (66-19 anyone?) and your rival is consistently part of the national conversation, it becomes quite a task to keep your self-esteem in check. Now, UCLA comes up with one of its most unexpected and amazing victories in series history, knocking USC from a shot at a national title, and all I hear from many Trojan fans is a cry of, "Well how many Pac-10 title has UCLA won in the last five years?" or "How many national titles do the Bruins have?" and even "Two words UCLA fans -- Rose Bowl." Now if I were a Trojan fan I'm not sure I'd gloat too much about this last one considering SC is now on a two-game losing streak in games played in the Arroyo Seco with an potential extension to three a very real possibility with a feeling-disrespected Michigan team coming to town. Bottom line Trojan fans is that you can try to rationalize this loss all you want if it helps heal your over-inflated egos or gives you your recommended daily allowance of arrogance, but the fact remains that, at least in this season, you're No. 2 in your own town.

Let The Madness Begin!

Well, in many ways I can't believe I'm actually doing this, but I suppose this is a bandwagon everyone with any creativity in their bones ultimately jumps on, this world of blogdom. As this is the inaugural post, I'll keep it short. Basically, this space won't have any true limits about what will be discussed, but you can expect that there will be a lot of talk about college basketball, especially about the UCLA Bruins, who have a knack for making those they conquer shed tears (and we won't even mention what UCLA football did to USC last weekend). We'll see how it goes. Here's hoping for some good conversation.